A Rant about a Text
I sent a text to my aunt, who is the only person in my family who I thought understood eating disorders. I told her I was worried about my Dad as he had being growing more depressed lately and asked her advice.
This is what I got back:
"Good to hear Dad enjoyed having Douglas to stay (he had a friend to stay last weekend). I’m sure he is depressed, but so would anyone be who was in his shoes. He worries constantly that he dies before you have learned to live with the eating disorder and that you and mum are left destitute. I had to take my own advice yesterday because I didn’t want to go to a Ceilidh as I didn’t think I looked good, but I went. Wasn’t much fun and I wasn’t in the mood”
1) My biggest fear is my Dad dying before he has seen me become stable and successful in life. If I don’t recover before he dies I will never forgive myself. He is 73 now, and not in good health, and it is a thought which torments me. I do not appreciate it being stuck in a text message.
2) I find it pretty insulting she thinks I would end up taking all my mums money. I really do. My sister (my aunts favourite niece) has never worked a day in her life and I have worked ever since I was 16. Yes, my finances are shit because of all the food I buy, but I never sponge off my parents and I would NEVER accept money if it meant my mum had to deprive herself.
3)”learned to live with the eating disorder” - oh, thanks! So I guess you never think I will fully recover then?
4) Then you tell me you didn’t want to go to a ceilidh because you felt fat, which obviously means you understand me perfectly. When I told my aunt I wasn’t going to my graduation because I had no friends in my uni year and felt I looked awful (I weighed 17 stone - I was well into the super obese BMI range) she told me I was a selfish, vain individual and I shouldn’t have denied my parents the pleasure of seeing me graduate. And my aunt isn’t even over weight!